When people speak about postpartum depression (PPD), they instantly consider the mother. The father is rarely mentioned in such discussions, but many fathers experience PPD. While society focuses on maternal mental health, fathers are consistently overlooked due to a lack of awareness. As a result of this, many fathers do not get to be diagnosed and treated. Studies show that between 8% and 13% of new fathers suffer from postpartum depression. In this article, we will delve into the impacts of postpartum depression in men and solutions.
Impacts of Postpartum Depression on Dads
Aggression
Fathers suffering from postpartum depression will show different signs than mothers. While mothers may display depression and withdraw from the family, fathers may become far more irritable. Dads can display aggression and even numbness towards their family. They may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like smoking, excessive drinking, or working longer hours to avoid home.
Distant
Yahoo Life shared several accounts from fathers who experienced postpartum depression. A 34-year-old father named Jason felt distant after his wife gave birth to his first child. While his wife immediately bonded with the baby, he grew more distant as the months went on, even though he assisted and supported the baby day and night.
Jason expressed that he eventually dreaded coming home from work, and he felt guilty, but his wife suggested that he might have postpartum depression. He was initially doubtful, thinking it was only a woman thing. However, research confirmed that his symptoms aligned with PPD in new dads. Jason overcame his feelings and connected with his child after going to therapy and speaking with dads in similar situations.
Pressured to Be Strong
After one man’s wife had a traumatic birth, he felt pressured to remain strong, which worsened his depression. The 29-year-old man named Marcus became aggressive, snapping at his loved ones, withdrawing emotionally, and dreading fatherhood. Marcus said that while he loved his son, he felt he was failing at everything. He also had a panic attack at work, which made him realise he needed help. A men’s support group helped him to open up to his wife, and they returned to being a strong team.
Numb
A 36-year-old man named David experienced numbness after his wife gave birth. His wife was overjoyed about their newborn, but he felt nothing. He would make excuses not to hold the baby after coming home from work, feeling like he was not needed. He would sit in the cold and zone out. When a friend of his shared their own experience with PPD, he realised he was suffering from it and sought therapy. He also changed his lifestyle and spent quality time with his daughter, fostering a connection.
Breaking the Silence Around PPD in Fathers
Fathers with postpartum depression typically experience feelings of isolation, shame, and confusion. Their feelings are worsened due to societal expectations of how fathers should feel. Men are often criticised for displaying certain emotions, which causes them to hide their feelings. In most cases, fathers are unaware that they are suffering from PPD due to the lack of awareness.
When they are able to recognise the different symptoms like withdrawal, increased irritability, anxiety, or numbing behaviours, they can address the issue early. Fathers can seek the assistance of support groups and connect with other dads who are struggling with similar issues. Fathers can also seek the help of therapists to explore healthy coping mechanisms.
Additional Resources for Fathers Experiencing PPD
Postpartum Support International (PSI): This platform allows fathers to access online support groups and professional resources.
Dad Central: This platform supports fathers by providing mental health support.
The Good Dad Project: Fathers can gain advice about how to navigate the challenges of parenting and emotional well-being on this platform.
