When children become adults, parents should switch their parenting approach. Instead of still trying to lead them, they should offer their support. However, some parents find it hard to make this necessary switch. The transition can be tricky, especially knowing what to say and what not to say. While giving advice is always good, it might seem like criticism at times. Individuals might feel like their parents are dictators when they continue to get involved in their personal lives, fostering bad relationships. It is essential to know how to offer support and advice without appearing as if you want to control their lives. In this article, we will explore things parents should not pressure their adult children about.
1. Critizes Career Choices
While it is natural to envision the ideal career path for your child, you should not try to nudge them towards that path when they are adults. Give them space to discover their own passions and explore the careers they are interested in. Questioning them about their professional journey and giving them unsolicited advice might lead to conflicts, especially when they feel you disapprove of their career choice.
Encourage their growth and independence while avoiding making judgemental commentaries. When they see you are supportive, they will turn to you for advice and guidance when they need help.
2. Comment On Their Appearance
The way a person looks may be an intentional form of self-expression, or it could be an effect of their lifestyle choices. People comment on weight, hairstyle, and clothing; it can sometimes be hurtful. Parents should avoid coming off as critics when it comes to their children’s physical appearance. While some comments are not meant to be judgmental, they can still leave a lasting impact. Their child may feel self-consciousness or resentment because of the comment.
Instead of commenting on your adult child’s appearance, focus on their achievements, kindness, and intelligence. Praise them for their personal growth. Parents can strengthen their relationship with their children by complimenting the hard work they do. This also enhances the child’s confidence.
3. Judge Their Lifestyle Choices
Criticising how your adult child lives their life can cause your child to be distant. From dietary habits and hobbies to their leisure activities, judgemental remarks and comparisons about how you lived your life can feel dismissive. The lifestyle decisions they make will align with their values and not yours. It is best to avoid being judgemental and allow your child to find their way. You can show curiosity about their lifestyle habits, allowing them to explain why they do certain things. Have light conversations that make them feel comfortable sharing things with you. Be supportive and encouraging to maintain a close bond with your child.
4. Pry Into Their Romantic Relationships
While parents are naturally interested in their adult children’s love lives, they should not pry. Probing into their personal affairs or making judgemental remarks can lead to them feeling pressured or uncomfortable. Don’t pressure them to speak about their love life, and don’t criticise their choices to be single or dating.
Show support even if they marry someone who may not seem like their ideal match. Parents who are always supportive will have close bonds with their children. Always ensure that you maintain a safe space where your child can feel comfortable to speak to you when they need advice or someone to vent to.
5. Critiszing How They Raise Their Children
Everyone’s parenting style is different, so avoid judging your adult child for parenting their own child differently. When parents share their valuable experiences to advise their children about how to raise their grandchild, it can come off as disapproval and judgemental.
Offer support and encouragement instead. When they need help, be mindful of your words so you do not seem judgemental.
